


A Great Magnet Pulls

by Hildigunnur



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Face-Fucking, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-29
Updated: 2012-09-29
Packaged: 2017-11-15 06:41:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/524239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hildigunnur/pseuds/Hildigunnur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Future AU. Despite being in New York and having a great career, Kurt Hummel’s Lima past is burdening him, especially his relationship with his closeted ex-boyfriend. Then Blaine Anderson waltzes into his life, offering Kurt a reason to live in the here and now but he learns that shedding the past isn’t easy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Great Magnet Pulls

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Klaine Endgame challenge on LJ. Thanks to my sarka for the beta. Title from k.d.lang’s _Constant Craving_.

“I hear the UN is calling a crisis meeting about the poisonous cloud of irritability you’ve currently got looming over New York, Hummel.”

Kurt pried one eye open and looked up at Santana.

“Remind me why we’re roommates again,” he grumbled as he tried turning to face the back of the couch he was lying on, but Santana wasn’t having any of it. She sat squarely on his legs so any attempt to turn away from her became painfully futile.

“Now, now, Kurt. I know your default temperament is only slightly warmer than a cold night on the ice planet Hoth but this isn’t healthy.”

“You dated Sam for too long.”

“Oh, I dated all my boyfriends for too long, but it ain’t me we were talking about, Princess. What magical object do I need to use to dispel this cloud of doom hanging over you?”

“Nothing, it’s just some work stress or something.”

“Yeah, tell me another one. You weren’t reading those emails Eric sent you when you first moved here, were you?”

It was at times like these that Kurt missed having Rachel as a roommate; her self-absorption kept her from seeing through him like that. Santana was way too observant for her own good.

“And what if I did? I’m allowed to read them.”

Santana gave him a look somewhere between ‘Yeah, and what good does it do you?’ and ‘You need a life’ as she climbed off his legs to lift them so she could sit comfortably on the couch. Kurt stifled a groan. Auntie Tana was about to explain it all.

***

Kurt didn’t consider his high school years the happiest of his life but there had been Glee, and later on, there was Eric. Handsome, tall Eric who loved him and was always sweet to him. Eric who got Dave Karofsky to back the hell off. Wonderful closeted Eric who made sure they never appeared closer than casual acquaintances to the student body of William McKinley High School.

It had been frustrating to walk the halls of school, everyone knowing that he, Kurt Hummel, was gay and some shaming him for it and making it out like he was a special kind of freak, while he knew about other male students who were also gay, one of them his boyfriend. But some people passed and some didn’t. He didn’t resent Eric for that, this was a miserable, prejudiced little cow town and Eric had things to lose - like the chance for a football scholarship. Kurt understood that.

Besides, he truly did love Eric. How could he not love someone like that? His All-American good looks, his brown eyes and dirty blond hair which he kept chopped short, his wide shoulders and strong arms that had held Kurt so tightly - like he had been afraid Kurt would escape to never return. The way Eric had looked at Kurt, making him feel like he was some kind of a deity.

In Kurt’s mind that made up for all the difficult parts of their relationship, where they had to compromise on simple things like movie dates and the bigger things like going to the prom together.

They kept their relationship absolutely secret for a while, which had been hard for Kurt. He wanted to tell his close friends that there was someone who liked him and wasn’t doomed to be alone. Above all he’d wanted to tell his father, but he couldn’t imagine that his father would react positively to the fact that he was dating someone who wasn’t going to come out of the closet anytime soon.

Eventually, the relationship came to light amongst Kurt’s friends and family and while concerns were voiced, people remained respectful of Kurt’s and Eric’s desire to keep their relationship off the radar.

It hadn’t been love at first sight. It had begun with a pair project in History which had developed into a casual sort of friendship, mostly through their mutual friends; the Glee guys on the football team. That friendship had taken an unexpected turn, at least for Kurt, when Eric had showed up at his house, looking like he had robbed a convenience store and was looking for a place to hide. He had asked Kurt out for a ride and while it wasn’t something they’d done before, Kurt didn’t think anything of it. He’d actually welcomed any chance to spend time alone with Eric because he’d been harboring a tiny crush on him, though he was certain it would be just as futile as every other crush he’d ever had.

On the outskirts of an almost deserted mall parking lot, Eric had parked his car and confessed that he’d fallen for Kurt. While Kurt’s first instinct had been to accuse him of mocking him and trying to set him up, the choked-up speech Eric had given him about not being able to be around Kurt without telling him how he felt, while not being able to share the fact that he was gay with anyone else had convinced Kurt, and made him want to try to see whether a clandestine relationship might work for him.

Kurt Hummel was glad that he could look back on high school with a hint of fondness, in part due to the fact that he’d met someone he loved and loved him back there.

***

Not for the first time, Kurt realized that his nickname for Santana was apt. Not only had this been her hare-brained scheme to lighten him up but now she had left him high and dry in a bar he’d never been to before. Granted, it wasn’t far from their place, but he’d kind of assumed that she was going to be his wing-person for the evening, not disappear before he even finished his first drink.

Thankfully this wasn’t a seedy sort of establishment. Santana knew her stuff, which she kind of had to seeing how she was a part-time club promoter. She had also seemed to realize that since Kurt wasn’t an eighteen year old twink anymore, the option of hooking up at some meat market dance floor at a gay club wasn’t on the table, not that it ever had been for him. Of course, at least according to her, she had taken care to pick out a place where it was more than likely that Kurt might meet someone not opposed to sharing a night of wild passion with him.

Or at least Kurt hoped it would be a night of wild passion, though in all reality he expected it to be awkward and fumbling, if they’d even get close to bed or having sex. Maybe that was the problem with having slept with only one person. Oh, well, this was New York. If it was awful, there was bigger chance than not that he’d never see the guy again and no one would have to know about it. Expect for Santana, but she was surprisingly discreet - she seemed to have more fun having blackmail material than spreading gossip.

It was also quite possible he’d head home alone. The pickings were sort of slim. There were handsome men milling about but none of them were really Kurt’s type.

Before declaring the evening a total bust, Kurt turned to the bar to get himself a night-cap. Pushing past a couple blocking the bar to have an argument about unpaid bills, Kurt had a hard time seeing where he was going. Another thirsty patron pushed hard on the other side of the bickering couple, jolting them, and making Kurt almost lose his footing and practically fall into the arms of the person standing next to him.

“Whoa there.” The guy he’d tried to knock over grabbed him by the upper arm.

“Sorry,” Kurt breathed as he steadied himself and then looked at the guy.

It wasn’t like the figurative movie score of Kurt’s life swelled or anything but there was no denying that his ‘rescuer’ was hot. And he was actually hot in a way that meant Kurt didn’t only want to know him in the biblical sense. There was something about the smile that was currently directed his way that made him feel the guy hadn’t steadied him only because he didn’t want to fall on his ass himself, but he would have made the conscious effort to catch Kurt even though he hadn’t been in any danger of assplanting in the middle of a bar.

“Hey, not a problem.” The guy smiled even wider and the part of Kurt that had been encouraged by Santana to go looking for a random hook-up simply took over.

“Well, a gentleman says thanks,” Kurt said, trying to keep his voice in his lower register. “Can I buy you a drink?”

“Yes, I’d like a beer - because I actually don’t want you to walk away. Though I’m kinda hankering for a dirty martini.”

“A dirty martini it is, because I’m way more likely to walk away from someone drinking beer. And I’m Kurt by the way.”

“I’m Blaine.”

They didn’t shake hands, the intent with their introductions clear as they waited for the bartender to mix their drinks, the dirty martini for Blaine and a gin and tonic for Kurt. This was a moment where they took the time to appraise each other, like when you look better at a painting that has caught your eye in a good way.

Blaine didn’t look anything like Eric, with his dark curls, slender build and huge dark eyes that Kurt was pretty sure weren’t just plain brown… maybe they were even green. But he was attractive in a way that spoke both to Kurt’s libido and his affinity for handsome men (‘Just admit you like the pretty boys,’ like Santana was used to say).

By the time they had their drinks and Blaine was starting to suck the olives from his drink in a manner that seemed to be directly wired to Kurt’s groin somehow, the conversation was flowing freely.

“So am I getting your number or are we going to hail a cab?”

There was one sip or so left in Kurt’s glass that he’d been contemplating while there had been a momentary lull in the conversation. There was no mistaking the heat in Blaine’s eyes, or what he was hoping would be Kurt’s choice.

The gin was smooth and cooling on its way down Kurt’s throat, calming his nerves enough to say:

“Let’s go and get a cab and go to my place.”

By the time they tumbled through the door to Kurt’s apartment, Kurt was really relieved that he wasn’t going to wait anxiously for a phone call from Blaine and then jump through all the hoops of dating before even kissing him. This way they were getting straight to the good part, and even if it would have been worth the wait, Kurt had to admit that instant gratification was just what he needed right now.

There was a certain skilled enthusiasm to the way Blaine kissed: how he started every kiss with a sharp inhale, like he wanted their lips to fuse together. His mouth still tasted a little salty from the olives in the martini, enticing Kurt to lick a little bit harder. He steered them towards the bedroom on sheer instinct, narrowly avoiding slamming Blaine into the antique dresser standing in the hallway. Maybe Santana had a point about moving it - she had walked into it a number of times - but at the moment, rearranging furniture wasn’t a priority for Kurt. First and foremost, he wanted to get the man in his arms undressed. Secondly, he needed to get undressed himself. His mind resisted thinking any further ahead.

As they stepped over the threshold into Kurt’s bedroom, the desired state of undress had mostly been achieved and Kurt’s mind was able to move to the next stage, the ‘touch all the skin’ stage. Blaine’s olive skin was warm to the touch, the hair on his arms and chest surprisingly soft, and then there was an added thrill to touching someone who wasn’t Eric. Blaine’s body was uncharted area for him and there were foreign planes of skin and new sensitive spots to discover.

Not to mention the way Blaine was touching him, eager with his hands but also reverent. Sure, his touch lacked the familiarity of Eric’s strong hands but Kurt wanted Blaine to touch him all over, wanted the encouragement he felt with every brush of Blaine’s fingertips, the way he could feel how Blaine wanted him to be more assertive, more aggressive, to manhandle him into bed.

Once Blaine was lying prone on his bed, Kurt finally caught a breather. Balancing on his knees, he looked down at the man underneath him. Blaine’s eyes were dark and burning with something that Kurt chose to interpret as an exuberant sort of yearning. In the past he had wondered how it felt to top, often with a sort of detached interest, but now he felt like he’d been kicked in the stomach with the want to take Blaine then and there. And it felt less scary than he would have imagined.

“Please, Kurt.” Blaine’s voice was low and a little bit raw, causing a current to run down Kurt’s spine.

The part of him that wanted to fuck Blaine was clearly in charge. “What do you want?” he asked.

“I want… your cock.” There was nothing Kurt could do to fight the way his body started shaking with what he thought was lust but perhaps held a tinge of nerves as well.

“How…” Kurt’s voice was shaking as well, “do you want my cock?”

Blaine blinked and raised himself up on his elbows.

“Are you okay, Kurt? I’m not…?”

A bubble of jittery laughter escaped Kurt’s throat and he let himself fall to the bed next to Blaine.

“It’s just… I’m not used to being the one in control in bed, and yeah… but it’s not that I don’t want to…”

Turning towards him Blaine smiled, placing his hand on Kurt’s jaw and kissing him, strangely tenderly for someone who just had asked for his cock.

“You know, honesty is a turn on for me,” Blaine said as he broke the kiss. “Just go with it.”

There was nothing that Kurt could do but capture Blaine’s lips again and keep on kissing him, while allowing his hands to touch that heated skin, making sure that Blaine understood that he wanted him and that he was just gonna go with it.

When Blaine moved his lips along Kurt’s jaw and down his neck, Kurt knew where he wanted Blaine’s mouth next.

“Blow me,” he breathed, more into Blaine’ hair than his ear.

Lifting his head from where he was sucking on a particularly tender part of Kurt’s neck, Blaine smiled as he looked into Kurt’s eyes.

Kurt was already very hard when Blaine finally made his way down his torso and so ready to have something done about his erection.

Starting slowly, Blaine moved his mouth down Kurt’s left hip bone, nuzzling his groin before mouthing at the underside of Kurt’s cock. Gasping, Kurt reveled in the currents of pleasure Blaine was giving him, which intensified when Blaine took the head of his cock in his mouth, dipping his tongue slightly into the slit before taking him deeper inside.

Kurt hadn’t received many blowjobs. He’d given plenty, himself, but Eric had been reluctant to reciprocate and Kurt hadn’t enjoyed them all that much. Now, finally, he understood what all the fuss was about. There was something that Blaine was doing with his tongue, combined with suction and the way the wet heat of his mouth felt that was bringing Kurt close to an orgasm faster than he ever recalled feeling before.

“Fuck, Blaine, I’m going to come,” he said, his voice gravelly.

Blaine just kept going, looking up at him as if telling him that this was the plan all along and that he should just go with it. Still, as eager as Kurt was to come, he wanted this to last a little bit longer because who knew when he’d next be blown in such a spectacular way? But his will couldn’t withstand the length of the dryspell he’d been going through or Blaine’s skillful mouth. When Blaine sucked him deeper still and Kurt could feel his throat muscles working around him, he couldn’t hold on anymore. With a gasp he tried to warn Blaine but the message didn’t seem to get through, as Blaine kept his mouth on him through his orgasm, swallowing every bit of Kurt’s release.

It took Kurt a moment to regain any sort of coherency. He lay there, feeling absolutely boneless, while watching Blaine out of the corner of his eye. Propped up on his elbow, Blaine was in turn watching him intently, lazily stroking his erection.

“You look breathtaking, all debauched like that. I’d think there would be line of people interested in getting you off, just to witness this.” Blaine’s voice was low but it also carried a hint of amusement.

There wasn’t much Kurt could do but smile at the weirdly back-handed compliment because he knew it had to be heartfelt.

“You make it sound like this was some kind of a pity blowjob,” he said when his voice finally returned to him, hoping that he sounded playful instead of accusatory.

Blaine took a few flustered gulps of air before he hastened to convince Kurt that wasn’t what he meant.

“I know, I was teasing you…” Kurt raised his head a little, “but I don’t want to be a tease, if you know what I mean.” He looked down Blaine’s trim body to his neglected cock.

Blaine’s only response was to raise his eyebrows, a little bit challenging, and Kurt realized that he had to take charge of something.

“On your back,” he barked at Blaine before getting himself up to straddle his legs.

“Get yourself off and let me watch you come.”

Blaine’s hand flew to his dick which was slick with pre-come. He was clearly very close to the edge, like he’d been staving off his climax for a good while and his hand moved furiously up and down the shaft with well-rehearsed strokes. Kurt stared in awe - even though he wasn’t exactly directly involved, he felt something twist pleasantly in the pit of his stomach at the thought that what they had been doing and him being there was enough to bring this gorgeous man off. It was a strange feeling. It wasn’t like he was some blushing virgin but this was the first time he was with someone else than Eric and it was the first time he felt genuinely desirable in a general sense.

Blaine arched underneath him as he came, his come streaking his stomach and hand. Trying to get control over his hitching breath, he looked up at Kurt with half-lidded eyes and the barest hint of a smile.

Kurt felt like making a back-handed compliment of his own.

***

On those mornings Kurt didn’t have to be up at a specific time, he liked to be woken up by the sunrise. That’s why he’d chosen the bedroom with the windows facing east, though the bedroom Santana occupied was bigger. The soft rose-red light filtering through the window was slowing pulling him from the grips of slumber. His limbs felt impossibly heavy, like the muscles had forgotten how to contract. Just as he was becoming aware that he was indeed awake, he realized that he wasn’t alone in his bed. There was a solid warmth to his right side and the night before came to him.

_Blaine._

Kurt wasn’t intimately familiar with the protocol of one night stands but they usually didn’t stick around until morning and most certainly they shouldn’t be found sitting comfortably in the bed of the person they’d just slept with, reading Patti LuPone’s autobiography.

He must have made some kind of noise seeing Blaine as he looked up from the book, smiling at Kurt.

“Hey, sleepyhead.”

Looking at the book, Kurt raised an eyebrow in question.

“Yeah, I woke up earlier, might be the light. I’m used to the light in my bedroom which has a tiny window facing a back alley. Let’s say it’s not a place where the sun shines. And yeah, I saw this book in your bookcase. Naturally I’d read it when it came out but it’s been ten years or so. But Patti LuPone, man, what a legend.”

It was at that point Kurt was almost convinced that he was having an elaborate dream. Why wasn’t this awkward? Why was Blaine all cozy with a book Kurt had never seen another guy read, instead of frantically looking for his underpants before making a hasty retreat?

He probably shouldn’t be asking himself these questions but just take it in stride. Actually getting some breakfast was fast becoming the only thing on his mind. And with that, his stomach growled like a cranky lion.

“Sorry,” he said, his voice morning-rough and thick. “I think I should get on with making breakfast. You up for whole-wheat pancakes, fresh fruit and coffee?”

“Oh, sounds amazing. I’m sorta starving. But could I be so bold as to ask you whether I can use your shower and perhaps borrow a towel and even some underwear?”

***

The pancake mix was just about ready when Blaine emerged, fresh from the shower and wearing Kurt’s clothes. Turning around from checking if the pan was hot enough, Kurt couldn’t mask his sharp inhale when he saw Blaine in an old t-shirt and jeans of his. There was something enticing in seeing another man in his clothes, someone who actually fit in them. Well, the jeans were perhaps a tiny bit too long on Blaine, but it was cute to see his toes peek out from beneath the hems.

“Mmm, that looks yummy,” he said as he walked up behind Kurt, touching his shoulder. “But maybe it’s best if I get out of your way.”

Kurt merely hummed in agreement. He didn’t mind Blaine’s touch but making pancakes was pretty difficult to manage if someone was crowding your space.

Blaine shuffled around the kitchen-slash-living-room, looking around and just like any other new guest to the apartment, he stopped in front of the photo wall. Kurt and Santana would both deny it until they were blue in the face but the reality was that they were sentimental and liked to be reminded of their friends and family, especially since most of them didn’t live in New York. The wall kept Blaine occupied for a minute or two before he turned to Kurt.

“So, this picture…” He gestured to small framed picture, low on the wall, depicting Kurt and Eric that summer between sophomore and junior year in college, back when Kurt had thought that maybe he could convince Eric to come out and that they did have a chance.

“Yeah, me and my ex. It’s mostly there for nostalgic reasons.” Kurt looked down to turn the pancakes.

“Wait, Eric Phillips is your ex?”

“Yeah, you know him?” Kurt said, before he could stop himself. It couldn’t be, could it? What were the chances that Blaine was into college football?

“Once a Buckeyes fan, always a Buckeyes fan. Never went to OSU though, just childhood imprinting. Man, I didn’t know he was gay.”

The blush was quick to crawl up Kurt’s face as his stomach dropped a bit, like when you miss a step on the stairs. Eric wasn’t out - sure, there were people who had known about him and Kurt - but he’d never come out to his family, for instance.

“That’s because he isn’t out. We had to keep it on the down-low when we were together.” Kurt brusquely stacked the last batch of pancakes onto the serving plate. “But the Buckeyes? You aren’t from Ohio by any chance?”

“I hail from Westerville originally.”

“Interesting. I’m from Lima.”

“Really? And to think I thought I was the only kid in Ohio who had an appreciation for Patti LuPone.”

“Oh, there were more of us, believe me.”

“But Eric Phillips, really?” Blaine looked again at the picture. “Or don’t you want to talk about it?”

Kurt didn’t look up from where he had started washing the fruit they were going to eat.

“Well, there isn’t an awful lot to tell, really. We got together a few months into our junior year at high school and kept seeing each other until graduation. Then I moved to New York, he obviously went to OSU, and yeah. We broke up in theory, except I couldn’t stop myself from getting together with him every time I came back to Ohio for the next couple of years. But yeah, around the time he had his injury and his chances of a professional football career became none, and he still didn’t want to come out, I decided enough was enough, you know.”

“I hear you. One of my exes… well, he was out when we got together but I’d say he was out reluctantly, if you know what I mean. If it had been up to him, I suspect he’d have liked to stay in the closet forever. I mean, it’s pretty taxing in a relationship like that when you yourself are comfortable being out, but I guess I don’t have to tell you that.” Blaine had sat down in one of bar stools that were to one side of the kitchen island while Kurt had started cutting up the mango.

“Or like me, not really being able to stay in the closet if I wanted to.”

Blaine’s eyes grew wider and there was a flash of emotion in them. Kurt could tell it wasn’t sympathy, which he wouldn’t have stood for, but rather like compassion… like Blaine understood that not being able to pass and people giving you a hard time for that was a pretty fucked up situation. And the mood was now decidedly somber, something Kurt wanted to lighten up.

“Seriously, the one time I tried to play straight, it was so disastrous, even though I managed to date a tall, blonde cheerleader and all.”

“Oh, so that’s your type.”

“Huh? No, she was a girl…”

“No, I meant the tall, blonde part. I mean, Eric is tall and blond and probably blue-eyed, though I’ve never actually given the color of his eyes any thought.”

Kurt stopped cutting up the pear that he had on his cutting board, his first thought to correct Blaine and tell him that Eric’s eyes were brown, but that wasn’t what Blaine meant.

“I don’t follow…”

Ducking his head down, Blaine shook his head, making his damp curls dance and then looked up again.

“I’m sorry, I tend to let my insecurities get to me. It’s just… we had fun last night and this,” Blaine gestured between them, “has mostly been surprisingly not awkward and you are an interesting person I’d like to get to know better.”

Kurt could feel the gears in his head grind to a complete halt. The mere idea of a relationship had the adrenaline pumping through his body.

“I… I…”

If he hadn’t been standing in his own kitchen, he might have fled. Thankfully, Blaine seemed to be able to interpret the look on Kurt’s face.

“Oh, Kurt. I mean as friends. Friends who have already slept together but you know… no pressure. Free to date other people and all that. We can just hang out and watch old musicals for all I care.”

Huffing out the breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, Kurt nodded in acknowledgment of what Blaine was saying. Watching old musicals was all dandy but if last night had proved anything then it had to be the fact that Kurt couldn’t ignore his urges. An easy arrangement, relatively commitment-free, it pretty much sounded like what the doctor had ordered.

“Yeah, I’d like that. And last night was awesome and if you would be up for a repeat or something, I’d be up for it.”

“Are you suggesting we’d become friends with benefits?” Blaine asked, straightening up on the bar stool before leaning forward a bit on his forearms.

“Yeah, I think I am,” Kurt said and scrapped the diced pears from the cutting board into the bowl he’d set up for the fresh fruit.

***

“Wanky.”

Santana had been utterly unable to leave some of her high-school catchphrases behind. Plus Kurt couldn’t help but be inwardly amused by the irony of her mocking a friends-with-benefits arrangement.

“Neither of us are looking for a relationship at the moment but you know, you were the one who said my dick was about to rot off from disuse.”

“True. So how was it? If you rate it on the scale from a wet rag down your pants to transcendental, another state of being experience, was the guy better than Prince Caspian in the sack?”

“Santana. Seriously.”

“Full disclosure, Hummel. Part of the roommate agreement.”

“Yeah, and notice how I’m not holding you to your end.”

“That’s because pussy makes you cry.”

“Exactly that.”

“Tell me!”

“My horizons opened up a bit. Is that enough for you?”

“In what way, my dear? Bigger dick? Tighter ass? Tell me!”

“‘Cause sex between men is all about that just like lesbian sex is just foreplay.”

“Yeah, yeah, just get off that Clydesdale.”

It wasn’t that he was shy to divulge the details to Santana. Their sarcastic nature and penchant for snark made their private conversation candid at times, but what was holding him back now was the fact that she was asking him to draw a comparison between Eric and Blaine. That was a territory he was mentally trying to steer clear of.

The sex hadn’t been what kept him and Eric going for all these years. It was more like always ordering the Fettuccine Alfredo at Breadstix: classic comfort food at the best of times but kind of bland and mundane at the worst of times.

Maybe the sex with Blaine hadn’t been quite mindblowing but suddenly he felt like he had so many options. He wanted to do things with Blaine, and more importantly, he wanted to do things to Blaine.

“It’s not that Eric is inadequate in bed.”

“Which means he totally is. Tiny dick?”

“Santana! What I’m trying to say is that there are more things I want to do with Blaine than I ever wanted to do with Eric.”

“Seriously, then why did you keep on sleeping with him long after you broke up for the last time? Does his spunk taste like dulce de leche?”

“Santana, there’s this concept called feelings, ever heard about it?”

“OK, Bleeding-Heart Hummel. Just tell me what you want to do with this new dude that you didn’t want to do with Phillips.”

Kurt had lost his virginity to Eric after their Junior Prom. After Kurt had escorted his date, Rachel, who’d had an even more miserable time than he did. She’d had to watch Finn comfort Quinn after she had lost the Prom Queen crown to Santana, while Kurt, at least, was meeting up with Eric afterward.

It had been special. He loved Eric and Eric loved him and doing it after prom was a symbolic, romantic rite. Maybe there had been a little pressure from Eric but Kurt didn’t feel they had rushed. The first time was always going to be difficult and awkward and it had taken a while before sex stopped being painful for him, even though Eric had done his best to be gentle. The pleasure was always there, thankfully, but at first it was more the pleasure of sharing himself with someone he loved than anything else. The physical pleasure came later.

He had always bottomed and he had never asked to switch - getting Eric to suck him off was hard enough. In the end, it had proved best to keep to a few basics in bed and not try to rock the boat.

“Like I want to fuck him and try dom-sub stuff and hell, just try sixty-nining and…” Kurt hadn’t really visualized what he’d wanted to do with Blaine but the ideas came rather easily to him, along with mental images he couldn’t really concentrate on right now, not with Santana there.

“Now that’s hot. We might make tens of thousands on the videos alone. I should know, I’ve had offers. Though if this dude is ugly we might not get as much.”

“Sometimes I don’t know why I even talk to you, let alone live with you.”

***

A couple of days later Kurt found himself changing his clothes at work before heading straight to meet Blaine. Actually, heading straight to Blaine’s place, because he’d just texted him and invited him for dinner, since Kurt had already fed him.

 _It’s not a date, it’s not a date,_ was the mantra going through Kurt’s head while he checked whether the spare shirt he kept at work (‘cause spills happen) went with his pants. It was just like being invited to dinner at any of his other friends’ places. He wasn’t in the habit of wanting to sleep with the rest of his friends though.

Blaine’s apartment was small, probably even smaller than the apartment that Kurt had shared with Rachel for the first couple of years in New York - and that one had been so small that he and Rachel once had an argument about about a tiny cactus taking up too much space.

“Yeah, sorry about not having a proper table. It was either that or my bookcase and yeah, the books won out,” Blaine said as he handed Kurt a bowl of noodles with shrimp and vegetables as he sat on the couch.

Kurt smiled. Sure, he might like to sit at a table but he liked people who were serious about their passions.

“So, loads of books, huh? A literature major in college?” he asked Blaine after having a few bites of the noodle dish.

“No, I ended up studying Political Science. I really wanted to do Musical Theater or Theater, but according to my parents there was apparently only room for one Anderson in show business. My brother is an actor, you see. Dad wanted me to become a lawyer but I didn’t want to give myself up completely, though now I’m not sure if I should have compromised like that. Except I do love my job – reaching out to kids who are in the same situation I was. Maybe they won’t compromise on their lives.”

“I’ve always known that my father is the model supportive parent,” Kurt said after Blaine had explained more about how things has been strained between him and his parents, following his coming out. “I had hard time focusing on what I wanted when I was in high school. My dream was to make something big out of myself, on Broadway or as a fashion designer, but my boyfriend was most likely going to stay in Ohio, or at least in the Midwest which kept making me think I had to be tethered to Lima. Then my father sat me down one night and told me that while he wanted me to never leave, he also wanted me to make my dreams come true and I shouldn’t be afraid to go for them all. And I’m so glad he did because I think I’d have compromised otherwise.”

“Oh, I don’t think you’d still be in Lima if your dad hadn’t given you a push. Just your writing would have been enough to have you airlifted out of there.”

Kurt bowed his head, a little bashful. While he intellectually knew that writing for New York Magazine meant his talent in that department was considerable, it was a rather new discovery compared to his singing or his eye for design, so he still felt the need to downplay it.

“I’m still getting used to the fact it’s what got me my career.”

Blaine shook his head playfully, like he felt Kurt was being silly, and Kurt was struck by the way Blaine’s smile seemed to originate in his eyes and somehow spread all over his face.

Keeping the conversation to their careers and aspirations, Kurt and Blaine talked about how they missed performing and Kurt explained how envious he was of his friends who were pursuing music; Rachel with her budding career on Broadway, though at the moment she was touring with Les Misérables; Santana who had a regular gig at a club; and Mercedes who actually had landed a record deal a couple of months ago. He had simply given up on that when he got rejected by the NYADA and saw it as a sign that he should follow his other dreams when he got accepted at Parsons.

His musings were cut short when he realized that Blaine was still looking at him, still with a smile on his face, but there was something else present in his countenance, an intent that he couldn’t mistake for mere interest in what he’d been saying. And it was exactly what Kurt needed.

“Come here,” he said, pulling on Blaine’s arm before reaching over to kiss him. Kurt left Blaine in no doubt that he’d seen the way his gaze had changed, and that he was willing to follow it through. Opening his mouth and coaxing Blaine’s lips open as well he wanted to take what he needed from Blaine. This itching need to feel wanted was burning its way through his veins and he felt like he was on an autopilot to soothe it.

Blaine responded by surging up into their kiss, grabbing a hold of Kurt’s waist and pulling him closer so their torsos lined up while Kurt took Blaine’s face in his hands.

“Fuck me, Blaine,” he said, out of breath, when he broke the kiss. Looking at him with his dark pupils blown wide, Blaine nodded once before pulling off his t-shirt and then proceeding to unbutton Kurt’s shirt while trailing his mouth down his throat and out onto his bared shoulder. Their clothes were soon done away with amidst a flurry of kisses and touches.

“Wait,” Blaine said, his voice ragged as he rose from the couch where Kurt was lying on his back, trying his best to keep his breathing under control as an attempt to keep things from ending much too fast.

Returning, Blaine put his supplies away on the coffee table before pouncing on Kurt, claiming his mouth in yet another heated kiss, sucking his tongue into his mouth and making Kurt’s already interested cock stiffen even more.

“Open me,” Kurt whispered in Blaine’s ear when his mouth had found Kurt’s neck again. “It’s been a while.”

The sound that Blaine made at his request was encouraging, to say the least, especially when Blaine couldn’t seem to grab the lube fast enough. Moving down the couch he took care to heat the lube between his fingers before touching Kurt somewhat tentatively, like he wanted to gauge his reaction.

Kurt was too impatient and greedy for that, though, and wanted Blaine to breach him already. Thankfully, Blaine was susceptible to the hints and was quick to move on with opening Kurt up while using his other hand to stroke Kurt’s erection.

“Quick, I can’t wait.”

Kurt was arching up into Blaine’s touch, feeling like a live wire, crackling with need.

“Do you want me to fuck you like that?” Blaine asked, looking up from between Kurt’s legs.

Shaking his head, Kurt turned onto his belly and lifted himself up on all fours. He wanted it hard and fast, he wanted to hear the sound of skin on skin, feel Blaine press up against his back.

The message wasn’t lost on Blaine: as soon he had lined up with Kurt’s hole and pushed in, he was relentless. Kurt’s breath got caught in his throat as he felt the way Blaine was stretching him in every fiber of his body. He could hear the staccato gasps of breath he made and liked feeling so out of control of himself. It was getting him close, so quickly, even though it still hurt a little bit, his body reacting the way it was used to.

And then a surprisingly lucid thought made its way through his head; a rebellious voice telling him that this thing with Blaine didn’t have to be a repeat of how things had been with Eric, that he was supposed to widening his horizons, not falling back on old comforts.

“Stop!”

Blaine froze for an instant, buried inside Kurt and for that fraction of a second, all Kurt could register was his own frantic heartbeat, then Blaine was withdrawing and scrambling back on the couch. Before Kurt could even turn around, Blaine had started apologizing.

“Kurt, I’m so sorry, I thought… was I too rough? God, I’m so so sorry…”

“Blaine, Blaine, it’s not that.” Kurt had awkwardly managed to turn around to find Blaine almost curled up into a ball. “I… I just changed my mind.”

“Changed your mind?”

Rising to his knees, Kurt reached out to touch Blaine’s chin.

“I’ve always bottomed before and while this felt so good, I wanted to try something else and I don’t know, I just had to stop.”

There was brief frown of confusion on Blaine’s eyebrows before he leaned forward and kissed Kurt.

“Okay, that’s okay. Above all, I want you to be comfortable with this.”

Curbing what could turn into a heartfelt conversation instead of hot sex, Kurt leaned back in to kiss Blaine, then mouthing at his jaw before asking in hushed voice:

“Can I fuck you?”

The answer Blaine gave was never voiced but articulated in the way Blaine grabbed Kurt’s shoulders and pulled him down with him. With gentle touches, he guided Kurt to finger him open and with nimble fingers he rolled a fresh condom on Kurt’s erection.

Despite the fact that this was his first time in this role, Kurt wanted to show some initiative himself so he pulled Blaine’s legs up on his shoulders before bending over him.

Pushing inside Blaine was terrifying, as Kurt realized that he wouldn’t be able to keep as much control as he wanted. His world had narrowed down to this intense hot, tight feeling - he didn’t even register that tiny tremors were running through his body until he felt Blaine rubbing his shoulders in soothing circles.

“It’s okay, Kurt. You can move.” Blaine’s voice was thick but there was a look of reassurance in his eyes which Kurt more sensed than saw.

Moving within Blaine made everything speed up. Whether the tightness was to blame or the fact he’d been turned on for a while, it was hard to tell.

“Touch yourself. Please come with me,” Kurt managed to gasp out as his hips flew forward, slamming into Blaine who was complying with the request, his hand stroking his cock in some resemblance to the rhythm Kurt had set.

 _This shouldn’t feel so right_ , said a nasty little voice in Kurt’s head, like it wanted to remind him that he belonged in a different role, but the blood thundering in his ears drowned out the doubts.

And Blaine had been close as well, his breath growing heavier and his hand on Kurt’s shoulder holding tighter.

Kurt thrust one more time and then tried to will his body to keep still, but he was trembling all over and there was no way he could stop himself from coming. It exploded in his head, making him lost in time and space, and it was only when his mind started to clear itself that he was aware of Blaine underneath him, in the throes of his own orgasm.

It was like staring into the sun to witness that beautiful man coming apart because of him.

***

Life, work and distance had all collaborated, making it necessary for Kurt to schedule a bi-weekly Skype session to keep up with his family back in Ohio. Sure, there were short phone calls and maybe e-mails scattered through the week, but in order up catch up, Burt and Kurt had decided that they had to keep to those sessions as religiously as they had kept to the Friday family dinners.

Kurt found himself in front of his laptop ten minutes ahead of schedule, curling up in an armchair and wondering whether he was supposed to indicate that in the last two weeks since he had last spoken with his father at length, his life had changed drastically. He was thankful that Santana wasn’t privy to his inner monologue because she would have something to say about the fact he felt that acquiring a friend with benefits was a drastic life change. But how did you explain to your father that since you last spoke with him, your time had been occupied with a one night stand, then meeting said person four times more and having sex with them each time?

At two o’clock sharp, Burt logged in on Skype and calmness set over Kurt, the sort that only his dad inspired in him.

“Hey, buddy.” Burt smiled at the computer screen, making it appear as if he was very interested in something on the table.

“Hi, Dad.” Kurt secured his Macbook better so it wouldn’t slide off where it was perched on his knees.

“So what’s new with you? Work, work, work?”

“Something like that. I’m actually working on a series of interviews which are supposed to appear online during Fashion Week so yeah, things have been pretty hectic at work.”

“Oh, sounds like something you must be excited about.”

Kurt smiled. While his father would never understand a thing about fashion, he still had a genuine understanding that it was one of Kurt’s passions and was willing to hear everything about it.

“Yeah, I’m basically interviewing the major New York-based designers and I am actually getting an inside peek into some of the workrooms. Got to hang out in Diane von Fürstenberg’s workroom the other day… but you have to wait few weeks before reading all about it.”

“Send me those links, Kurt. I mean it. I might not know this lady but I like reading your writing, even if you were writing about astrophysics.”

Nodding solemnly, Kurt shifted in his chair.

“So, any news from Lima?”

“Nothing worth reporting. Andy-from-the-shop’s wife had her kid, a little boy. I think they are naming him Keegan. And yeah, ran into Will Schuester at Walgreens and he sent you his best greetings. He said something about calling you ‘cause he wants to write a book or something.”

“Tell him I said hi if you meet him again. Heard anything from Finn? I got a pretty unintelligible postcard a week ago, I think it must have gotten wet somewhere on the way. Where is he?”

Burt knitted his brows like he was trying to remember where in the world Finn was. After being discharged from the army, Finn had decided to go on an around-the-world trip, supposedly to find himself. So far that hadn’t happen but Kurt was actually hopeful that Finn would finally find his niche somewhere.

“Honestly, I can’t remember how to even say it. Carole! Carole!” Burt turned his head away from his computer to call his wife. “She talked to him couple of days ago, her information is more reliable.”

Carole appeared quickly like she had been on the other side of the room.

“Hey, Kurt. So good to see you.”

“Hi, Carole. Good to see you too. So where is your son? Dad didn’t seem to know.”

“You know me and foreign names,” Burt injected.

“Kathmandu, I believe,” Carole said.

“Nepal? Really? Is he just doing tourist things? I mean, he hasn’t answered his email for weeks.”

“Oh, I think he went hiking in the Himalayas and is now trying to go for a Buddhist retreat. He didn’t tell me about the hiking until after the fact. That boy! I may have yelled at him a bit for that.”

“A Buddhist retreat? Oh, Finn. Well, one can’t fault him for not trying things.”

“But how about you, honey?” Carole had reached for something to sit on in front of the computer so Kurt was able to see her face now.

“What about me? I’m not going on any Buddhist retreats. Atheist, remember?”

“Yeah, but you know that’s not what I’m asking about.” The look on Carole’s face was familiar. Kurt liked to call it the ‘shrewd mom’ look. He might not have been on the receiving end of it often but he’d witnessed it often enough when Carole was about to call Finn out on something. That didn’t stop him trying to deflect.

“Carole, I’m way too busy for something like that.”

“Kurt, I’m still here and I know you aren’t telling the truth.” Even though his father wasn’t looking directly at him, Kurt recognized the look, the ‘Don’t try to bullshit me, boy’ look. He’d never tried to defy that look.

“I don’t know what to say. There’s a young man and… we aren’t exactly dating but it’s all very recent and there’s not much to tell.”

Burt and Carole both spoke at once.

“Oh, is he handsome?” squealed Carole as his father asked:

“Is he out?”

Suppressing the urge to roll his eyes, Kurt looked at Carole first through the screen.

“He’s very handsome. Totally the sort of guy you would take home to mama.” He’d never called Carole Mom but whenever he did so indirectly, he always managed to melt her and this time was no exception. Carole was now all a watery smile.

Then there was his father’s very loaded question. While Burt had never directly opposed Kurt’s relationship with Eric, he’d never liked the fact that Kurt was dragged half-way back into the closet himself. There had been more than a few heated discussions between the two where Burt would all but yell that he just wanted Kurt to be happy, and if Kurt had to hide who he was he couldn’t possibly be happy.

“Yes, Dad. He’s even working for the Trevor Project.”

Burt hummed in response.

“Oh, did you meet him at a fundraiser?” Carole asked, a little too eager for Kurt’s taste.

“No, I met him at a bar. We just hit it off, we have the strangest things in common, he grew up in Westerville and we were both in a glee club.” Kurt cut himself off before he started gushing.

“Oh, if he’s in Ohio by then, you must invite him over for Thanksgiving or left-overs, you know, if he has plans with his family.”

“Carole, we aren’t even dating.”

In the end Kurt had to resort to bringing up his father’s diet and exercise habits to deter Carole from starting to plan his and Blaine’s wedding.

***

It was supposed to be a movie night and Kurt had even challenged Blaine to bring the movie he was most embarrassed to like. In return he had a guilty pleasure movie of his own ready, which happened to be Grease 2, mostly due to Maxwell Caulfield’s gorgeousness.

But all day he hadn’t been able to get Blaine out of his head. Well, he did think about him a lot on a daily basis but usually he was able to focus on his work without the distraction of images of Blaine’s naked body swimming in his head.

And when Kurt had been preparing snacks in the kitchen earlier, cutting up celery and mixing the dip, Santana had taken one look at him on her way out and shaken her head.

“No, Hummel. Don’t bother. No one is going to eat that.”

“Hey, celery is delicious.”

“Yeah, yeah, though it gets boring when it’s the only thing you eat for two weeks ‘cause Sue Sylvester has hallucinations about you having love handles. But that’s not what I’m talking about: you are going to be too busy screwing Wonderboy to be eating anything.”

Kurt almost cut himself when the knife skidded on the cutting plate.

“Santana! Blaine and I might have an arrangement but it doesn’t mean we just have sex all the time.”

“Duh, of course. Just the way you’re spraying your pheromones all over the place is almost making me straight here. I bet you all the Tom Ford tuxes in the world that you are going to jump that poor boy as soon as he walks through the door.”

As Santana slammed the door shut, Kurt stood still, wondering if she actually had magical powers because all he could think about now was jumping Blaine as soon he’d appear in the doorway.

Frankly, that scared him. Sure, he enjoyed sex and had a healthy libido, but surely he wasn’t the ravishing kind. Even so, he felt the tug of desire pull hard at him, like a rope around his middle, propelling him into detailed fantasies, sexual fantasies of things he’d never done and never dreamed of doing before.

The chiming of the door bell shook him out of his reverie.

Trying to calm down, Kurt gave himself time to look at Blaine as he stood in the doorway. His attire was pretty much what he was used to wearing whenever they met up but at this moment, Kurt couldn’t help but see how the cardigan clung to Blaine’s tiny waist and accentuated his narrow hips, and how the open collar on his long sleeved shirt gave him a glimpse of Blaine’s collar bone. His mouth watered and he literally had to remind himself to step back to let Blaine into the apartment.

“Hi, I brought My Stepmother Is an Alien. I only saw it because my brother had a thing for Alyson Hannigan and was watching all her stuff and…”

Blaine didn’t get any further in explaining how My Stepmother Is an Alien had changed his life or what other explanation he might have for liking that movie because Kurt had effectively pinned him to the wall in the hallway, narrowly escaping crashing into that dratted dresser.

Kurt was like a man possessed, ridding Blaine of his clothes faster than a person who normally cared for clothes should. For a second he stopped, as his hands were about to unfasten Blaine’s belt, looking into his face to see if it was okay.

Blaine’s eyes were shining from underneath heavy eyelids, bedroom eyes if Kurt had ever seen a pair, and a vague plan formed in his head. Sure, it might be hot just to do it there in the hallway but a bed would be so much more comfortable.

Pulling Blaine with him by the belt on his pants, Kurt practically ran to the bedroom.

“On the bed, now,” he commanded Blaine who happily obliged, grinning even as he made himself fall backwards on the bed.

“I have to admit that while I was expecting corny movies and snacks, this is a pretty good turn of events.”

“Pants off, no talking.”

While Blaine hurried to rid himself of the rest of his clothes, Kurt scrambled for supplies. That tiny voice in his head was mentioning something about him never being this aggressive and that he didn’t know what he was doing but seeing Blaine there, watching with what Kurt could only describe as joyful lust, made it so much easier to drown that doubtful voice out.

And he damn well knew what he wanted. He wanted them both to come hard and fast and then indulge in each other. Do some exploring when the edge had been taken off.

Bending over Blaine, he captured his lips in what fast became a very dirty kiss, but this wasn’t the time to be making out. He had some catching up to do in getting rid of his clothes and then he was going to have Blaine.

Grabbing the lube, he pushed on Blaine’s shoulder, nudging him to roll over.

“Am I going to get your fingers?” Blaine purred, almost turned onto his stomach.

The imagery that conjured in Kurt’s head seemed to find a direct way to his groin, causing him to grow harder. There would be plenty of time for that later, though.

“No time,” Kurt panted as he applied generous amount of lube to himself and then brought his hand between Blaine’s thighs.

The only sound Blaine made was a tiny hitch of his breath and then Kurt positioned himself behind him, jostling him so he’d open up his legs a little.

He wanted it like that, not quite fucking but close enough, his dick between the fleshy cheeks of Blaine’s ass, his slick hand on Blaine’s cock and them moving in a rhythm. Blaine had understood right away what it was Kurt needed, the muscles of his buttocks and thighs so tight around Kurt.

“You feel so good, Blaine,” Kurt huffed into Blaine’s ear and it was obviously something that Blaine liked to hear as he pushed back hard on Kurt, who was so close, and judging from the sounds coming from Blaine and the way he was moving, the same went for him.

Kurt couldn’t help but repeating himself.

“You feel so good, Blaine.”

And that seemed to do it for Blaine; he was coming all over Kurt’s hand and that, combined with how Blaine’s body was jerking, was enough for Kurt as well.

They were absolutely wrecked as they lay there, messy and trying to catch their breath.

“I’m glad you went with this instead of watching My Stepmother Is an Alien, as much as I love that movie,” Blaine said as soon his breathing had returned to normal.

“And are you up for more when you recover?” Kurt asked. They had turned to face each other.

A hazy smile played over Blaine’s lips.

“When I recover, yes. Just give me a sec.”

“Sure,” Kurt said, rising up from the bed to look for something they could clean up with. Despite the very recent orgasm he was feeling strung out, like what had just transpired wasn’t enough sate the lust burning in him. It was strange to think of himself as someone would lust so openly after another person, but Blaine had opened floodgates within him and this aggressiveness was suddenly a seamless part of him, just like his ability to spot trends in men’s fashion. Unfortunately, it was doubtful that he could use this quality for his day job like he did with the trendspotting.

When he returned with wash cloths and water bottles for both of them, Blaine was on his way to recovery, judging from the way he looked at Kurt, though other parts of him weren’t quite there yet.

“What do you want to do, Blaine?” He asked, maybe trying little too hard to be nonchalant.

Blaine quirked one eyebrow.

“Honestly?”

Kurt nodded as he tossed one wash cloth to Blaine.

“I’d like to take my time with your magnificent ass, with my tongue.”

Gulping, Kurt tensed a little. That had always been a taboo thing with Eric, who didn’t want his tongue anywhere near Kurt’s asshole and was even less keen on allowing Kurt near his. Yet ever since Kurt had opened up to himself about sex, rimming had intrigued him.

So it was with a certain trepidation that Kurt laid on his own bed, allowing Blaine to maneuver him onto all fours.

“Relax, Kurt,” Blaine purred, smoothing his hands over his lower back and sides before peppering the dip in the small of his back with quick kisses. “Your skin feels so soft. I can’t get enough of touching it.”

Hearing Blaine praise his body created a warm thrill in the pit of Kurt’s stomach, maybe because it was a novelty to him. Sure, Eric had told him in the heat of the moment that he was hot and how good it was to fuck him but he had never focused on any particular part of Kurt’s physique so he was learning just now that it was a huge turn-on for him.

Following up the kisses with his tongue, Blaine made his way down the cleft between Kurt’s cheeks. Inhaling sharply, Kurt became aware just how sensitive his the skin was right there. Blaine kept his attention on Kurt’s tailbone and then moved down to his perineum and scrotum, like he was waiting to get to the pièce-de-résistance. Kurt couldn’t help it, he was growing impatient and he knew exactly where he wanted Blaine’s tongue. With keening sounds, he rocked on his knees and he could hear Blaine chuckle behind him, the vibrations tickling him.

Finally he stopped teasing him, letting his tongue sweep over the pucker, causing Kurt’s toes to curl involuntarily. The way Kurt had tensed seemed to encourage Blaine to keep going and stop his teasing ways. Instead he pushed in, then pulled back to blow a little on the wet skin.

The moan that escaped Kurt’s lips was probably the most obscene sound he’d ever made. He couldn’t believe how good this felt. None of his vague fantasies came even close and when Blaine really plunged his tongue inside of him, Kurt wailed, literally wailed as the build-up of pleasure was like someone had taken hold of his front, squeezing his sternum, tightening the abdominal muscles and making his head fill with this buzzing static of ‘So good, how can anything feel so good?’

Blaine kept going, his tongue thrusting into the ring of muscle and Kurt felt how he tried to spread out his tongue to open him up. And that strain, just a twinge, combined with the amazing way Blaine’s tongue seemed cause a spark in every nerve ending made him come in a white blinding glory.

“You there?” Blaine’s spit-wet face was hovering over his when his vision started functioning again. Kurt’s voice was far from working so all he managed was a tiny nod. Smiling, Blaine crawled off the bed and from his peculiar gait, it was painfully obvious he hadn’t gotten off yet. Feeling absolutely boneless, Kurt wondered how he could help with that.

After cleaning himself up, Blaine started mopping up Kurt, just about when Kurt regained his voice. Watching Blaine being so careful with him while still being hard made something in Kurt’s chest clench so tight that it hurt a little.

“Blaine,” Kurt said, his voice thick and alien to his ears. “What do you want to do? I’m pretty much out except I want you to get off.”

There was one trick that Kurt had up his sleeve that he hadn’t revealed to Blaine yet. Maybe because when he was with Eric it had been something he rarely agreed to do. It had always made him feel used and like Eric could just be with anyone else in his head at that moment.

But he wanted to do it now. He wanted Blaine like that.

“Can I suck you off?”

Blaine looked at him, smiling and moving to lie down next down to Kurt.

“No, no, not like that.” Kurt turned over onto his back, pulling a pillow to prop against the headboard. “I want you like that.”

“But… are you sure?” Concern was shining out of Blaine’s eyes. “I mean, you are asking me to fuck your face. You won’t be able to control it as much if you are lying like that. I mean, I’ll try to watch myself but I can’t promise anything.”

“I want you to fuck my face.” Kurt tried to put as much command into his voice as he could muster.

It was adorable the way Blaine looked taken aback while his eyes grew even darker with desire, but he complied and maneuvered so he was kneeling over Kurt, his knees on either side of Kurt’s head.

It wasn’t the best way to deepthroat, Kurt knew that, but he wanted to see whether he could make Blaine lose control this way. Whether Blaine trusted him, and himself, enough to let go.

Tasting Blaine’s pre-come as he took him in, Kurt looked up at Blaine who was watching him in return.

“Your mouth…” Blaine breathed as he pushed in slowly, the muscles in his hips and thighs obviously straining. Kurt would have smirked a little if he could but had to settle instead for conveying his amusement with his eyes.

It had been a while since Kurt had done this but his old trick to suppress his gag reflex still worked. It took effort to will the throat muscles to relax and not to cough when he swallowed around Blaine, but he managed. The sounds Blaine was making suggested that he was more than pleased with Kurt’s talent, especially when he started pumping his hips and bracing himself on the headboard above Kurt.

“This feels so good. Your mouth, Kurt. I haven’t felt anything like it. The way you are taking my cock.” Blaine was normally vocal and every time his words were on the dirtier side, it evoked a thrill in Kurt and made him feel sexier than usual. This time the dirty talk got to him on an even deeper level; this was all about trust. Blaine trusted him enough to be so open with what he liked and even though it shouldn’t be a big thing, Kurt was almost overcome with an emotion he couldn’t categorize but felt similar to gratitude. Like his chest had clenched earlier, it now felt like it was expanding, like his ribcage couldn’t contain the feelings inside of him.

Blaine was close, his movement growing shallow and erratic and his words turning into nonsense.

“Kurt… fuck… so good.” The sweat was beading on his forehead and his eyes were squeezing shut. With a final thrust, Blaine’s body grew taut and Kurt could see how he was holding on to the headboard for dear life.

“I love you.” Blaine more breathed those words than spoke them as he came down Kurt’s throat. If he hadn’t been so lost in the sensation of feeling Blaine pulsing in his mouth, Blaine’s confession might have coaxed a physical reaction. Instead, all he felt was his heart hammering so hard that he was surprised that he wasn’t completely out of breath when Blaine pulled out. All he could do was lie still while Blaine recovered. Was this a point where he’d tell Blaine he felt the same? Even when he wasn’t entirely sure that he felt the same - not yet at least.

But either Blaine wasn’t aware of what he’d said or he wasn’t waiting for an answer from Kurt. As he got down besides Kurt, he pulled him in for a kiss and all Kurt felt was how Blaine smiled into the kiss.

***

Calling it a day from hell would be an understatement of the worst kind: deadlines had been moved up, interviewees were canceling on him and basically everything seemed to be coming apart at the seams, both figuratively and literally. His plans to see a movie with Blaine had fallen through completely, though he’d texted Blaine, telling him if he was up for it, he could come around Kurt’s place around eleven. The vague hope that Blaine might take him up on his offer was the only thing that kept him going while answering several bitchy emails from Michael Kors’ assistant who seemed to think she was the queen of the known world and that she should write Kurt’s piece on Kors’ new collection.

Around 10.30 Kurt dragged himself from the subway station with a quick visit to the deli around the corner from his apartment for a bottle of wine and something to munch on. Busy looking at his phone, trying to decipher from Santana’s message whether she’d be out all night or if he should expect her before morning, he almost walked into a person standing in the entranceway to the apartment building.

“So sorry,” he said, not looking up, still looking at his phone.

“Hey, Kurt.”

It had been a good while since he’d last heard that voice and he snapped his eyes away from the phone to look at the man who had just addressed him.

“Eric!” His voice rose up even higher than it was wont to do when he was upset. He couldn’t imagine what Eric was doing here.

“Yeah. I was wondering whether I should call first but I don’t know… I just had to come and see you. I’ve actually been waiting here for three hours but I was sitting in my car for most of it.” Eric pointed across the street to where his truck was parked. Kurt shook off the thought of how that was kind of creepy.

“Uhm, I guess I should invite you in.” Kurt balanced his purchases so he could open the front door. Eric followed him in, stood silently with him in the elevator and as Kurt busied himself with opening the door to the apartment, loomed behind him like a too tall shadow.

“Please, make yourself comfortable,” Kurt said as he put away his things on the kitchen island. Then he went straight for the freezer to pull out the bottle of Stoli stashed there and poured the vodka into the mug he usually drank his tea from. This wasn’t an occasion for the correct etiquette. It didn’t enter his mind to offer Eric something, maybe because one of them had to be sober for whatever he had to say. Kurt looked into the living room space where Eric had perched himself on the couch, still wearing his coat.

“What brings you here?” Kurt wasn’t going to put it past Eric to have come here for a booty call, even though they hadn’t talked for almost a year.

“I… I’m moving to New York, Kurt.”

That was absolutely not what he had expected. In his most secret fantasies where he and Eric had made it, it was always for his convincing that Eric agreed to live in New York. He’d never imagined that Eric would initiate such a move.

“Seriously? And what are you going to do?”

“I’m enrolling at Fordham for my MBA.”

“Indeed,” was all Kurt could muster before draining his mug. The vodka burned down to his stomach but he preferred to focus on that particular physical discomfort rather than to contemplate what exactly he was supposed to feel about all this.

“I’m not doing this just for you, it’s also something I want but you are a major factor, Kurt. What we had, it’s not something you just throw away, and I know I have to work for it.”

Kurt was definitely not drunk enough for this discussion. As he turned back towards the freezer, the front door was shut.

“Hey, Kurt. Your neighbor in 5D let me in, she was going out and I saw that your front door hadn’t been closed completely so I thought…” Blaine trailed off when he saw Kurt had company.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought… I’ll just let myself out…” He gave Eric a look that made Kurt wince. Those big expressive eyes looked deep with sadness.

“Who are you?” Eric’s eyes on the other hand, were narrowed.

“Uh, my name is Blaine Anderson, sorry if I’m being rude…” Blaine extended his hand but Eric didn’t shake it and instead turned to Kurt.

“Who is this?” There was no mistaking the jealousy in Eric’s shaking voice.

“A friend.” Kurt spat out. “Blaine, I’ll call you?” He then added, hoping that his face was conveying enough of an apology though he felt like he would never be able to apologize enough.

A spasm trying its best to be a smile played over Blaine’s lips before he turned away, muttering his goodbyes.

As the door fell closed behind him, Eric rose from the couch and stalked to the kitchen island where Kurt stood with his empty mug.

“You sleeping with him?”

“Eric,” Kurt tried to say, not wanting to get into this with him.

“Answer the question.”

Closing his eyes, trying to think what karma he had upset to deserve a hellish day and evening like this, Kurt knew that he needed a good night’s sleep before he could even comprehend any of this.

“Please, Eric, I just can’t right now. Can we meet up tomorrow? For brunch somewhere, there’s a diner not far from here that has great hash-browns. Please, meet me there and I promise we’ll talk. I just… I can’t right now.” He wasn’t too proud to plead at the moment.

Eric huffed in frustration and Kurt knew that he had been imagining the outcome of the evening very differently. Then again, Kurt had given him plenty of reasons to think that he’d welcome him with open arms and they’d live happily ever after.

No one had to know that Kurt drank the rest of the vodka straight from the bottle after Eric left. Somehow he had to be able to sleep if he and Eric were to have an intelligent conversation in the morning.

***

“Good morning, sunshine,” Santana said in a chirpy voice as she sat with the morning paper, drinking a protein shake, looking like the epitome of cheerfulness.

Kurt didn’t feel like sunshine at all. He’d managed to drag himself to the shower when his alarm woke him up at what felt five minutes after he’d fallen asleep and now all he wanted was a large cup of industrial strength coffee. In an hour he was supposed to meet up with Eric and he’d never felt less prepared for anything. He didn’t even bother to grunt at Santana before making a beeline for the coffee-maker.

“Ah, the mystery of the empty vodka bottle is solved. You partied hard last night? Was B-boy there with you? Is he maybe still sleeping on the wet spot?”

“Santana, please. I need like thousands of doses of pure caffeine before getting into this with you.”

“You partied alone? No one to warm your bed?”

Measuring the water, Kurt knew that he’d have to give Santana some kind of an answer so she’d shut up.

“I did invite Blaine over but something came up. Maybe I better tell you, though I know what you are going to say.”

He saw Santana’s face grow longer in a ‘What have you done now, Hummel?’ look.

“So, Eric came by last night.”

“Hold it there, Princess. Don’t tell me you slept with him. I will personally escort you to a monastery if you did…”

“Santana! No, I didn’t sleep with him. I kind of kicked him out. It’s just that while he was here, Blaine did come by.”

“And I wasn’t here! Did they fight?” Santana was bouncing on her chair.

“No, no, no. I’d like to think I’ve enough common sense not to sleep with guys who have to speak with their fists.”

“Come on, Hummel. That’s hot and you know it.”

“Anyway, I’m meeting Eric in an hour. Apparently, he’s moving to New York,” Kurt said, not able to keep that feeling of defeat he’d been feeling from his voice.

“Hold up, Kurt.” Santana almost never used his first name when she was addressing him directly. “Now you are going to listen to me and if you are going to come up with excuses not to, I will call your father and probably Finn as well. I know he is god-knows-where but I think I’ve some power over him. At least the bastard owes me, and you.”

There wasn’t much he could do to stop Santana from delivering her triad. Maybe he needed to hear it. His own head was so messed-up right now.

“I don’t care if Philips wants to come out of the closet now with fanfare, a Pride float and everything. You don’t owe him shit. You have given him loads of chances to be with you proud and properly and he hasn’t manned up before. How is this going to be any different? Plus, even if he was going to come clean, do you want to be weighed down by someone who is just taking their first baby-steps as an out-person? I mean, sure, he could use someone who has been there. We both know how hard it is and I don’t think it gets easier with time.”

Kurt nodded. As hard as it had been to come out in high-school for both of them, having to endure the ridicule and in his case, the harassment, it was a stepping stone far behind them, and it had made them who they were today. He could just imagine the tumult of having to readjust your life so drastically this old. Well, twenty-seven wasn’t advanced age or anything but life had usually taken a certain course.

“Beside that, Kurt, you have to think of yourself. I’m going to say something that I haven’t told you because it wasn’t my place, surprise, surprise, and because it’s probably a bit too early in the game, but I think Blaine is good for you. I feel like you’re happier, that you’re actually living life, instead of being stressed out by work and being Mr Career Man all the time. I know you think it’s all casual but I’ve been around enough to know that when a guy wants to hang out with you like he does, watching your favorite movies, cooking for you, he likes you.”

“That’s because we are friends, Santana.”

“Yeah, this is just not how the whole friends-with-benefits thing works. It’s not all cozy date nights beforehand and things like that. It’s a phone call at eleven after a bust date with another person, asking if you can come over for an hour. It’s a quick roll in the hay and then all ‘catch you later’. Completely commitment-free and devoid of any emotions beyond ‘you are swell and cool enough not to become stupid about this’. You have fallen for him, and more importantly I’m gonna bet all of Sue Sylvester’s trophies that he’s fallen for you.”

There wasn’t much Kurt could say to this. He knew what Santana was saying was true, at least where he was concerned. What Blaine was thinking was a little more complicated but he couldn’t stop thinking about what he’d said the other night. Sure, people say all kinds of stuff in the throes of passion but he still couldn’t shake the feeling that Blaine had meant it.

“Seriously, Kurt. I can’t stop you going to meet Eric, but remember the life you deserve isn’t in taking the easiest route and falling back on old comforts and all that. I mean, I’d still be stuck doing cheers now if I’d gone with the easiest route and I think I’d be fucking miserable. Don’t settle for misery because you can’t say no, Kurt.” Santana’s voice went softer on that last sentence then Kurt had ever heard it.

***

Kurt arrived ahead of Eric at the diner and ordered for them both. For some reason, he couldn’t imagine that Eric had stopped liking waffles, his bacon extra crispy or his eggs over easy. Ten minutes later, Eric came panting through the door.

“Sorry, sorry, my cab got stuck in traffic and yeah… you ordered already?”

Kurt nodded as he watched his flustered ex sit down across from him. It felt strange now to look at Eric’s face, pink from the rushing around, his jaws more neatly shaved than he was used to. This grown-up version of Eric was almost unsettling.

“You mind?” Eric said as their food arrived and dug in right away. Shaking his head, Kurt smiled indulgently. In some ways, Eric hadn’t changed at all since they were seventeen.

When Kurt was certain that Eric had been fed enough to hold an intelligent conversion, he put away his own cutlery and leaned forward a bit.

“So why move to New York now? I thought that working on the Buckeyes’ coaching staff was working for you. Maybe not quite what you dreamed of but close enough.”

Two bright red spots appeared on Eric’s cheeks.

“I might have compromised my position.”

Kurt’s eyebrows shot up.

“What do you mean by that?”

“You see, there’s a lot of competition between those who are assisting, who gets to go on the away games and stuff like that. So yeah, people gossip and stuff and maybe this guy, this douchebag of a guy may have seen me leave this club in Columbus and threatened to out me and he would have if I hadn’t decided to quit. I mean, sure I could have tried to weather the storm, Kurt, but I’ve never been as strong as you. So when it happened, I looked up jobs and schools in New York and saw I hadn’t missed the date for Fordham and I applied there. I might try to go to law school later on, I don’t know.”

It was like a tiny little weight dropped into the pit of Kurt’s stomach. Eric hadn’t made the decision entirely on his own to come out, to move to New York and try to win him back.

“So I’m staying at a hotel now, just looking at apartments and stuff. I mean, my courses won’t start until the New Year but I thought I should touch base with you… maybe we could find a place together. Kurt, we were always so great together.”

Eric reached for Kurt’s hand over the table. He allowed him to take it but kept it slack.

“I know what you want from me and I think I could do it here. I mean, no one really knows me here except. you know, those few souls who have been following college football. This isn’t Ohio, people are used to this here.”

It was hard for Kurt not to let his mind wander to all his old fantasies where he and Eric were happily living in their beautiful New York apartment. The Sundays he’d imagined where he’d be dallying around in the kitchen or sketching some fabulous designs while Eric would be watching sports. The Friday nights where they’d be going out to see a show, Eric a tiny bit reluctant and always asking him what the show was about.

There was no denying that the lure of such comfort was strong. He knew exactly how it would go with Eric, would be able to predict his moods and his wants. Surely that would make up for a relationship devoid of much conflict - but it wasn’t very exciting. Not at all like he knew life could be.

“What about your family? How do they feel about all this? Moving to New York? Coming out?”

He could see something close off in Eric’s eyes at his question.

“Well, they know I’m moving. I just haven’t told them why. I mean, Dad is thrilled that I eventually plan on going to law school. It’s just, I want them to get used to one thing before I spring the whole gay-thing on them.”

Drawing a deep breath, Kurt tried to stop Eric’s words from stinging so much. Their relationship was never going to be enough for Eric to be truthful and it wasn’t like Eric owed him this now, not when they hadn’t been together for so long. But a part of him was angry, was angry that Eric still called it the ‘gay-thing’ like it was hobby one normally kept quiet about, like collecting coins.

“And if we would be living together, would I just be your roommate? All ‘yeah, remember Kurt, my friend from high-school? We’re renting a place together’?”

“Don’t be like that. You know how my parents are. Of course I would want them to know. I just can’t deal with letting them in on everything at once.”

Kurt didn’t understand why he was doing this to himself. This was a recipe for misery, for them both, and it wasn’t what he wanted but it was as if being here alone with Eric made his back-bone give way.

“Kurt!”

Both he and Eric looked up at the man standing in the door to the diner. It was Blaine, looking like he had sprinted across half of New York. The weight of dread that had settled in the pit of Kurt’s stomach dissolved in a flight of tickling butterflies at the sight of him.

Eric looked confused and unhappy.

“Kurt, Santana told me you were here and just please, hear me out and then you can tell me to go away. Forever, if that’s what you want.”

“Listen, dude. We are having a private conversation here and I’d appreciate if you left us alone. Whatever you need to tell Kurt, it can wait.” Eric had sat up straight in his seat, looking directly at Blaine like he was challenging him but Blaine didn’t let that scare him off.

“No, this can’t wait. Kurt, I know we have been pretending that whatever is between us is purely casual, no strings attached. But you have to agree with me that we have only been pretending.” Blaine was looking directly at him, more determination in his eyes than pleading. And Kurt knew he was speaking the truth.

“I want you to give us a chance.”

The hope that was swelling up inside Kurt stood in such stark contrast with the emotions Eric’s suggestions had invoked.

“Okay, I don’t care what is going on here but you need to leave now.” Eric had started to rise from his seat but Blaine didn’t budge.

It was all up to Kurt, and it was just his luck that he had to make a decision which could determine his future happiness while still hung over. He would have to break someone’s heart right now. Hell, they gave more privacy on The Bachelorette for this. Before he could say anything, however, Eric was standing up, towering over Blaine.

“Maybe you had a good time with Kurt but we have history and you can’t fight with that. A fling is a fling, it’s not years of a relationship. Do yourself a favor and go, I doubt you’re going to like what Kurt has to say.”

Despite the fact that Eric had a good nine inches on Blaine, Blaine didn’t seem to be intimidated in the least.

“But why aren’t you still together? Why hasn’t it worked for you? I’m gonna tell you why. Because you are afraid to admit who you are, and because of that, you’ve missed out on years of being in a happy, committed adult relationship with the most compassionate, caring and wonderful man I’ve had the fortune of ever meeting. And it’s going to have to be over my dead body that you get to lock him away because you are still a scared little boy.”

A part of Kurt was glad that they were alone at the diner, except for the waitress who was watching the whole thing, leaning on the register - and perhaps the fry-cook was listening in the back. A much bigger part of him, however, was concentrating on Blaine’s words. He couldn’t remember anyone ever saying such nice things about him.

“Not everyone can be out and proud. Not everyone likes gay people, but I’m sure you were raised in some happy homo paradise where every month is Pride Month. Some of us have families who are close-minded and some of us actually don’t want to be cut off from that.” Eric sounded close to tears but Kurt knew that the main cause for that was probably that Blaine wasn’t backing down.

“ _Dude_.” Blaine’s voice sounded hard as steel. “Believe me, I know. My relationship with my parents is strenuous at best. I was gaybashed. And guess what, every week I listen to dozen of young gay people talking about how scared they are but they are all so much braver than you, because I think the ultimate coward is the one who wants everyone around them to be afraid, too. If you can’t be yourself, you can’t live your life like you are supposed to.”

Eric looked like he wanted to answer Blaine, but it looked like he lacked the words. He stood there, looking crossly at Blaine, then looking over to Kurt and it was like he was asking Kurt to take pity on him. ‘Look at me, don’t you feel sorry for me? Don’t you want to be nice to me?’

And Kurt couldn’t stand it. He couldn’t stand that Eric didn’t have any more self-worth than that he’d settle for Kurt being with him out of pity. He couldn’t stand that Eric was so afraid to let go that he couldn’t just let him be free. Once he had loved Eric and once it had been enough to carry on in secret but Kurt didn’t have to obey the Lima values anymore. He was free to be Kurt Hummel and live life in all its glory.

“Eric,” he said, a lump forming in his throat. “I did love you once but that was a long time ago. Maybe it’s been unfair to you that I kept reaching out to you, even after we were broken up for good, but it’s also unfair of you to think that I’d ever settle for you. I’m living my life here in New York as a gay man. I don’t stop being a gay man when I visit Ohio. And at the moment, only hard-core fashion aficionados in New York know my name as a fashion journalist but Anna Wintour and Joanna Coles need to start watching their backs. I’m going to make something out of myself and I don’t think you are ready for that.”

Eric had sat down again and Blaine had perched himself on the next table, his arms crossed.

“The thing is,” Kurt continued, “I’ve developed feelings for Blaine and I want to see where it’s going. I’m sorry…” And that was where his voice broke and the tears started flowing. Through them he saw Blaine trying to hold back but Eric was completely stone-faced. “I don’t want to hurt anyone and if you… Eric, it’s been almost two years since we really talked and I’ve moved on. Eric, I’m so sorry but I don’t love you anymore and I haven’t loved you for a while.” At that, Kurt broke down, hiding his head in his hands and allowing the sobs to shake his body.

He was vaguely aware of a chair being scraped over the floor but then he felt arms around him, strong arms that made him feel safe.

“Sssh, Kurt. It’s all going to be okay. Just let it out. I’m here, I got you.”

Grabbing the front of Blaine’s jacket, Kurt buried his face in his chest and let go.

***

“Come to bed, Kurt. There’s no need to make all this effort.”

Kurt ignored Blaine because he wanted to create the perfect mood. Just a few more candles and then it would be perfect. It couldn’t be helped but ever since his first time with Blaine, his mind kept generating fantasies like it was making up for lost time. And sometimes the fantasies bordered on being corny and clichéd but Kurt still wanted to try them out and Blaine was usually game. Okay, maybe his patience ran a bit thin while waiting for thirty candles to be lit.

“See, I’m done,” said Kurt as he put away his candle lighter with a flourish. He let himself fall onto the bed where Blaine was lying, already naked.

“Come on, let’s make you less dressed and more naked,” he said as he started working on the buttons on Kurt’s shirt, stopping his work to kiss and lick Kurt’s throat. As nice as that felt, Kurt was curious. Blaine always went with what he wanted but he’d never voiced an elaborate fantasy of his own.

“I know I’ve set up this whole let’s-have-sex in the romantic candlelight thing and when I was younger, like before I got together with Eric, I used to have these grand fantasies, like being with Taylor Lautner in a meadow of lilacs.”

“Before he got fat,” Blaine quipped, lifting his head up to look Kurt in the eyes.

“Yeah, though I don’t regard a tiny lack of ab definition getting fat, he’s still kind of hot. But yeah, what I wanted to say, or more ask you, did you fantasize like that when you were younger? Did you have a stupid fantasy like that?”

Propping himself up with his elbows, Blaine gave a little shrug like he was a bit embarrassed.

“Around the time I was being bullied the most, I had this go-to fantasy, a happy place if you will, where everything was just magical. Where I was brave and didn’t take shit from no one and where I protected the weak, like a knight, just without the armor and the weapons. And when things got particularly bad in real life, there was this added element to it, where I had won the heart of this amazing guy, like a prince really. In my head, he was this luminous creature, my light in the dark. And like it usually is with fantasies, I didn’t have a clear picture of him in my head. It was more the way he carried himself, all regal and untouchable but not to me.” Blaine trailed his fingers down Kurt’s torso. “You see, it’s a bit like you are him. I’m glad that I got to meet you.”

Kurt couldn’t stop the smile from appearing on his face. Blaine had this ability to compliment him in the strangest ways and he liked it because it felt so earnest.

“Oh yeah, and what did you do with your prince?”

Blaine giggled and hid his face briefly by Kurt’s shoulder.

“I was fourteen-fifteen, okay? And kind of innocent, but yeah, mostly a teenage boy so I don’t think I ever got further in the process than a hand on my dick.”

“Of course,” Kurt said, his hand going down to loosen Blaine’s trousers. “But I bet we can move it a little further tonight.”

Blaine responded by reaching over to kiss Kurt, starting the kiss like he was used to to do, capturing Kurt’s lips like they would vanish in a second if he didn’t. Kurt could feel Blaine sucking in a bit of air from him, welding their lips even tighter together and leaving the way open for Kurt to deepen the kiss like he always did. It still managed to make Kurt tingle all the way to the tips of his toes.

Breaking the kiss, Blaine looked at him and the shine in his eyes made Kurt feel both wanted and loved, like he had lit Blaine up from within.

“Want you, Kurt.” Blaine’s voice had deepened to an almost growl.

“Yeah,” Kurt breathed. “Want you too.”

Crawling over him, Blaine straddled Kurt, his strong thighs on each side of Kurt’s middle, his ass brushing Kurt’s cock in such a manner that it took a good deal of willpower for him not to grind up but Blaine softened the moment by bending down to reach Kurt’s lips again in another toe-curling kiss.

They made out like that, drinking each other in, taking their time like they wouldn’t be able to go any further, like they were a couple of teenagers on the living room couch. It wasn’t enough, though, not when their bodies knew that these weren’t the limits, that they could have each other fully.

There were clothes in the way and while Kurt loathed to break their kiss the urge to feel Blaine’s skin was stronger. Once they were both naked, Blaine was back in place astride Kurt and now Kurt didn’t hold back from grinding up, feeling his dick in the cleft of Blaine’s ass.

“Want me like that?” Blaine asked, his mouth close to Kurt’s, his breath hot on Kurt’s cheek. “Want me to ride you?”

Blaine’s suggestion had the blood rushing in Kurt’s veins, so all he heard was a thrum against his eardrums.

“Inside you,” he managed to croak before trying to scramble for the lube that should be somewhere close.

“I got it,” Blaine said as he stilled Kurt with a touch to his shoulder and reached over to grab the lube and a condom.

Reaching his hand out, Kurt gestured for Blaine to apply lube to his fingers. He loved doing this for Blaine, touching him there, pushing his finger inside of him and feeling the heat and the tightness. Maybe he got too lost in the sensations, as Blaine made an impatient huff and as Kurt was about to slide a second finger in, Blaine clearly couldn’t wait anymore as he reached to push his own finger along with Kurt. As Blaine’s sphincter was giving way that little bit extra, a wave of white hot lust rolled over Kurt.

“I’m ready.”

Before Kurt even registered that Blaine had dragged his hand away, Blaine had positioned himself and was sinking down on him. There was a look of concentration on his face like he was keeping himself from slamming down. Not wanting to interrupt him, Kurt felt briefly at loss over what to do with his hands but then settled on fisting them in the sheets, twisting them as he was fully inside Blaine now.

“You feel so good.” Blaine was arching back, his hips moving in small, slow circles. Kurt was gritting his teeth along with almost pulling the sheets off the bed. What Blaine was doing felt like sweet agony, especially when he was fighting the urge to thrust up.

Then Blaine well and truly took the initiative and lifted himself, his thigh muscles taut at Kurt’s sides, before dropping down, the sound of flesh on flesh echoing in Kurt’s ears as he craned his head back with a soundless moan. He was going to come so fast and so hard that his body was vibrating in anticipation. And that seemed to be Blaine’s intention as he clamped down with the next rise-and-fall, becoming vise-tight around Kurt.

“Come for me, Kurt.”

There was no answer Kurt could give except a half-chocked moan as Blaine kept going, relentless in his mission to wring an orgasm out of Kurt.

His forearms now tangled in the sheets, Kurt felt his grip slip and he couldn’t hold on any longer. As Blaine pushed down yet again, Kurt curved up, his ass and lower back lifting up from the mattress and he came, every nerve-ending sparking as his mind short-circuited. Time became meaningless as pleasure rolled over him again and again. He could feel Blaine contracting around him, like he was milking him, making this last infinitely.

A moment, a minute, a millennia later, Kurt found himself no longer grabbing the sheet but cradling Blaine in his arms as Blaine was slumping forward, his head resting underneath Kurt’s chin.

“You know, I meant what I said the other day.” Kurt could feel the vibrations of Blaine’s voice on his chest and he felt strangely sure what Blaine was saying. And lying there, in a position uncomfortable enough to require a yoga session or two to get ride of the soreness, feeling sticky and hot, Kurt had never been more certain of anything than the fact that he was in love with Blaine. His heart felt like it filled out his ribcage and he never wanted to let go.

“I love you too,” he whispered and Blaine drew a shuddering breath like he was in tears before whispering back:

“I’m so glad we found each other. I’ve been looking for you forever.”

At that moment Kurt couldn’t have thought of thanking Santana, for that he was much too wrapped up in Blaine and being so in love it was like nothing existed except for them. But Santana might have been swept up in a hug the next day that startled her so much she forgot to accuse Kurt of having accidentally inhaled angel dust out of someone’s hair on the subway. Or maybe she bit back all her snark because her heart was tender enough that she felt genuinely happy for Kurt. The scathing comments could wait.

-Finis


End file.
